Valentine’s Day : A call to fraternity towards our neighbours

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is celebrated as the celebration of love and friendship. However, its significance cannot be limited to these aspects alone. This day also reminds us of the story of Valentine of Terni, a priest who defied Emperor Claudius II by secretly celebrating marriages, which were forbidden to young soldiers. Faithful to his convictions, committed to love and human dignity, he paid for this commitment with his life, dying a martyr’s death on the 14th February. His sacrifice has spanned the centuries, making this date a symbol of true love: a love that gives of itself without expecting anything in return.

But on a day when love is in the spotlight, one essential question stands out: what about the love of neighbour? How can we talk about love in a world where hatred towards refugees is spreading? How can we claim to celebrate love when the fear of the stranger fuels rejection and exclusion? Love is more than just the union of two people, it is also what drives us to reach out to those who are suffering, to welcome those who no longer have a shelter, to offer a chance to those who, driven out by war, violence, persecution or misery, aspire to a better life.

How can we celebrate love today, when in so many societies refugees are seen as a burden, as intruders, as strangers? How can we talk about fraternity, hospitality, family and hope in a world that erects barriers to welcoming others?

In his book De l’hospitalité (1997), the French philosopher Jacques Derrida (1930-2004) makes a distinction between conditional hospitality, which is subject to rules and restrictions, and absolute or unconditional hospitality, which consists of welcoming others without conditions or controls.He states: ‘Absolute hospitality requires that I open my home and give not only to the stranger but to the absolute, unknown, anonymous other, and that I give him a place, that I let him come, that I let him arrive, and take place in the place that I offer him, without asking him for reciprocity (entry into a pact) or even his name.’ (p.29)

In the light of these reflections, Valentine’s Day should invite us to radiate absolute or unconditional hospitality, to open our hearts without prejudice and to overcome the barriers imposed by our societies to welcoming refugees. This day is a call to recognise our responsibility towards others, to show solidarity and to work for the dignity of those seeking refuge. Because welcoming, listening and supporting are what true love is all about.

On this Valentine’s Day, let’s not limit love to the simple exchange of gifts or tender words: let’s make it a commitment, a caring presence, a concrete gesture towards those seeking a better life.

Jean Gardy Joseph, SJ.